Some callin' me a sinner, Some callin' me a winner, I'm callin' you to dinner, And you know exactly what I mean
There has come a time in my life where things seem to be clearer and making sense, as far as where I'm supposed to be, how I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm sure this doesn't make much sense to those that are not inside my head, but I promise that it does make sense. For a long time I felt the need to compensate the feeling of emptiness with jobs, internships and relationships with people that weren't equally reciprocating. I would accept them (the relationships) for what they were and make excuses. I would overwork myself to numb any sense of worry. To say the least, I was not in a good place. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't where I wanted to be. The reason I'm bringing any of this up is because I feel like right now, I am where I want to be. I like where I am. I like who I am. I like what I've become thus far.
I have an internship and job now (Woo!). I have best friends who are honest and supportive. I have family who are a pain in the ass, but honest and supportive. I also have the confidence to go back into the dating world. I'm rather new to it, but so far it seems like a lot of fun. I love meeting new people and feeling like I have the world at my fingertips. All in all, I really do feel like things are good right now. I'm happy. I smile more. I laugh a lot more. I worry a lot less. I'm excited for new things to come my way. Come the end of August, I will have a clean slate. New apartment. New room. New(ish) job. New life. The working girl. The girl that can go out for classy drinks and dinner with her lady friends (Next step: acquire lady friends). The girl that can host wine and cheese parties in her apartment. The girl that can be the cosmopolitan. Gah! I feel so liberated! so powerful! Everything feels so good!
In health news, things are going well as well. I think I only have one more chemo treatment left. I do have to reschedule a lot of my doctors appointments around because of my new schedule (yeah job! woot woot!). So there really isn't that much to report. I've been trying to stay out of the sun, sort of. I also would like a nice tan. I know that it isn't the best for me, but I've been laying out for 20 mins on each side to get SOME color. I spend most of my time inside anyways, so it's not like I get tanned while walking around outside. I'm barely outside! (This is me trying to justify my madness. I think it's working).
So the final verdict so far: This summer started off complicated, but is slowly making sense and falling right into place. YES.
I have an internship and job now (Woo!). I have best friends who are honest and supportive. I have family who are a pain in the ass, but honest and supportive. I also have the confidence to go back into the dating world. I'm rather new to it, but so far it seems like a lot of fun. I love meeting new people and feeling like I have the world at my fingertips. All in all, I really do feel like things are good right now. I'm happy. I smile more. I laugh a lot more. I worry a lot less. I'm excited for new things to come my way. Come the end of August, I will have a clean slate. New apartment. New room. New(ish) job. New life. The working girl. The girl that can go out for classy drinks and dinner with her lady friends (Next step: acquire lady friends). The girl that can host wine and cheese parties in her apartment. The girl that can be the cosmopolitan. Gah! I feel so liberated! so powerful! Everything feels so good!
In health news, things are going well as well. I think I only have one more chemo treatment left. I do have to reschedule a lot of my doctors appointments around because of my new schedule (yeah job! woot woot!). So there really isn't that much to report. I've been trying to stay out of the sun, sort of. I also would like a nice tan. I know that it isn't the best for me, but I've been laying out for 20 mins on each side to get SOME color. I spend most of my time inside anyways, so it's not like I get tanned while walking around outside. I'm barely outside! (This is me trying to justify my madness. I think it's working).
So the final verdict so far: This summer started off complicated, but is slowly making sense and falling right into place. YES.
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